"Weird." I say."Why?" Apparently I'm staying through Holiday Break again this year." Me too.Late night kitchen raids, again?"The thought of Sheri; standing in her white cotton briefs,her tight ass like a newly ripe apricot pressing it's high rims of it's perfect cheeks against the cotton,her loose tee shirt falling forward on her clavicle, her avocado tits hanging slightly against it's cotton in the gentle glow of the midnight refrigerator,her hair wild and fringed with a golden yellow halo,her long pretty toes forming heat rings on the cold kitchen tiles ; all distracts me for a moment.I look down at my own small hands,clasping their small,too-skinny, tapered fingers on my round,slightly knock-kneed thighs. Sheri says I have 'show girl legs' and likes to tease me by waving hello to people from between their wide thigh gap when I am standing in ankle formation, during practice.Then she slaps my butt and hits my messy ponytail.I'm left with a sting and the memory of the jiggling. ”“Are you saying that I should do this to relieve my guilt? I don’t feel guilty about anything.”“No, you misunderstand me. It’s not about guilt, it’s about karma. Guilt is always a black and white notion. It’s something that the Catholic Church emphasizes as part of atonement theology. But life is far more nuanced than that. You yourself have said that you have as much, if not more, responsibility for what happened with Jennifer. But are you really guilty of anything?“Some Catholics would have you believe that a single act, no matter what the motivation, is sufficient to condemn you for eternity, with no hope of redemption. I don’t believe that, and you certainly don’t live your life as if you believe it. Fundamentally, if you make an honest effort to overcome the negative effects of your actions, then it limits the negative karma that might come from those actions. Granted, if you were to commit murder, it’s unlikely you could erase that negative karma in a single lifetime, but you.
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